Matsuri's Grown-Up World
"The difficulty level will increase even more with the new season."
Marco Giancotti,
Marco Giancotti,
Cover image:
Photo by Ian Keefe, Unsplash
April 2015: Matsuri Takahashi, fresh out of the most prestigious university in Japan, begins her first job at Dentsu, a major advertising company.
These are some of her tweets from the following months (all emphasis mine).
Tweeted at 12:41 PM, May 30, 2015 (Saturday)
Love weekends so much
Tweeted at 12:39 AM, September 9 (Wednesday)
Leaving work now, I'm wrecked
Tweeted at 12:41 AM, September 9 (Wednesday)
A proper junior employee should virtuously hang on until the last train of the day...
Tweeted at 8:22 AM, September 26 (Saturday)
This is too intense, it's getting way too painful...
Tweeted at 9:59 AM, October 1 (Thursday)
While new hires are attending their job offer ceremony with dreams of a bright future, second-year employees are ironically at the clinic on the same floor for health checkups as "people requiring management." New hires, this is what society is like.
Tweeted at 9:11 PM, October 2 (Friday)
It's so hard, I think being a new employee isn't fun at all as I go to work, come home on the last train, sleep without removing my makeup, wake up without even being able to talk to friends, every day. But it was really healing when I went to Ginza with a coworker from my cohort for a small work errand, and we walked and said "I can smell osmanthus flowers, autumn is nice."
Tweeted at 6:13 PM, October 3 (Saturday)
Working is just too painful.
Tweeted at 11:35 PM, October 4 (Sunday)
Dear God, I don't want to go to work.
Tweeted at 11:39 PM, October 4 (Sunday)
I was so full of life during my student days, and now look what's happened to me. "A member of society"...
Tweeted at 11:55 PM, October 4 (Sunday)
"You've worked hard for six months, now you don't have to work anymore" — I wish some rich 50-year-old divorced man who thinks like that (balding is fine) would propose to me so I could become a housewife and live like a pet. Even though I graduated from Tokyo University.
Tweeted at 10:08 PM, October 6 (Tuesday)
Are there any new employees who don't get mentally ill? I can't tell...
Tweeted at 11:30 PM, October 7 (Wednesday)
I want to meet at a small bistro around Higashi-Ginza around 9 PM, drink well-chilled white wine while complaining "Work is tough—I hate it," and have a kind, smart boyfriend who nods and says "I know" while giving advice and a bit of scolding, but also says "Worst case, it's okay to quit." Since I have no other goal than to be proposed to by such a person, I have nothing to tell the department head during my evaluation interview.
Tweeted at 11:31 PM, October 7 (Wednesday)
It's still only Wednesday?
Tweeted at 11:20 PM, October 12 (Monday)
Came to work on a holiday thinking I was being diligent, but 60% of our department was already there. No wonder people die from overwork.
Tweeted at 1:28 AM, October 13 (Tuesday)
I'm going to take a bath now and then head to the office ( ･ᴗ･̥̥̥ ) death
Tweeted at 12:03 AM, October 15 (Thursday)
When everyone else is leaving at 4 AM or pulling all-nighters, there's an atmosphere where new employees can't say they're sleepy or tired. I'll be the type who feels guilty about escaping even during a fire or earthquake, and will die clinging to my PC until the end.
Tweeted at 3:28 AM, October 20 (Tuesday)
Cause of death: "tough love" from the boss
Tweeted at 3:41 AM, October 21 (Wednesday)
Made it home...
Tweeted at 5:24 PM, October 21 (Wednesday)
State of emergency #1 has been declared, registered on a job search site.
Tweeted at 11:21 PM, October 22 (Thursday)
Recently I've been working 19 hours straight, lunch is either at my desk from a convenience store or I skip it altogether ( ´- ̥̥̥ω- ̥̥̥` )
Tweeted at 11:26 PM, October 22 (Thursday)
I'm tired of only talking to people from work every day...
Tweeted at 4:36 PM, October 25 (Sunday)
Even with the worst feelings after breaking up with my boyfriend, it's comforting to know that endless work awaits me at the office.
Good thing I have such a tough job.
Good thing I have such a tough job.
Tweeted at 8:56 PM, October 28 (Wednesday)
I was told the document I made over two consecutive all-nighters was completely useless, but then he said if I fix it we might take it to the client, and now I'm motivated enough to work on weekends. I have an abundance of corporate slave talent.
Tweeted at 12:00 AM, October 29 (Thursday)
Thanks to overtime pay, my 7th month salary is 1.5 times my starting salary! 🎊 Overwhelming growth 🙌🏻😊💕
Tweeted at 9:48 PM, October 29 (Thursday)
I broke the village-like company rule that "the seniority wall is deeper than the ocean" by speaking too casually to a slightly senior colleague and incurred their anger, damaging my mental state again.
Tweeted at 7:58 AM, October 31 (Saturday)
Department head: "Your 20 hours of overtime is a waste for the company," "Looking sleepy during meetings shows you can't manage yourself," "Don't come to work with messy hair and bloodshot eyes," "If you're struggling with the current workload, your capacity is too small."
Me: "Bloodshot eyes aren't allowed either?"
Me: "Bloodshot eyes aren't allowed either?"
Tweeted at 10:53 PM, October 31 (Saturday)
I mean, even first-class professionals can't control their blood vessel constriction.
Tweeted at 3:23 PM, November 1 (Sunday)
I don't want to go to work. I wish we had two-day weekends (><)
Tweeted at 8:22 PM, November 3 (Tuesday)
When you can't tell if you're working to live or living to work, that's when real life begins.
Tweeted at 11:59 PM, November 5 (Thursday)
I'm even using Twitter to collect evidence for when I sue the company after quitting.
Tweeted at 11:58 PM, November 12 (Thursday)
I thought I could keep going, but I broke down unexpectedly early and now I hate myself.
Tweeted at 12:34 AM, November 13 (Friday)
Miraculous return to society. Phew
Tweeted at 1:12 AM, November 15 (Sunday)
What I want to tell job-hunting students is that work is not like fun activities or part-time jobs—it's "labor" that continues for life, and if it doesn't suit you, your mental and physical strength may wear down every day.
Tweeted at 8:32 AM, November 18 (Wednesday)
I absolutely hate waking up in the morning.
Tweeted at 7:20 AM, November 20 (Friday)
I managed to wake up again today...
The difficulty level will increase even more with the new season.
The difficulty level will increase even more with the new season.
Tweeted at 7:21 AM, December 3 (Thursday)
It's not that I don't want to work, I just don't want to wake up in the morning.
Tweeted at 8:42 PM, December 8 (Tuesday)
Shit! Hey, I'm heading to the office like a salmon swimming upstream to spawn!
Tweeted at 4:06 AM, December 9 (Wednesday)
I'm heading home now, but no matter how I calculate it, there's not enough time?
When I have to do things I'm not good at, I become way too inefficient...
When I have to do things I'm not good at, I become way too inefficient...
Tweeted at 5:39 AM, December 11 (Friday)
Heading home now (T ^ T)
Tweeted at 3:10 PM, December 12 (Saturday)
Since all my cohort is coming to work on Saturday, I can go to work happily!
Tweeted at 12:40 AM, December 14 (Monday)
I hope I can get married and quit my job as soon as possible.
Tweeted at 11:18 PM, December 15 (Tuesday)
A "good job" from my favorite senior - priceless
Tweeted at 9:41 PM, December 16 (Wednesday)
Getting to leave before 10 PM... it's a miracle
Tweeted at 9:48 PM, December 16 (Wednesday)
I wonder what will remain after overcoming such stressful days while constantly wanting to die.
Tweeted at 12:04 AM, December 17 (Thursday)
My eyes are dying, my heart is dying, and I even thought I might be better off dead, so today I was considering who would be the best lineup to CC on my suicide note email.
Tweeted at 7:37 PM, December 17 (Thursday)
Senior~! Please stop praising me properly when I do well and gently scolding me when I mess up~(><) Stop becoming my only ray of hope in these painful days~(><) At this rate I might fall for you~(><)
Tweeted at 4:01 AM, December 18 (Friday)
When you're at the company for 20 hours a day, you start to lose track of what you're even living for and just laugh.
Tweeted at 3:55 PM, December 20 (Sunday)
Even though I finally get to see my boyfriend after 4 months, it's incredibly stressful having to finish work super quickly for that and feeling pressured not to complain. Being a working adult means never being able to let your guard down for a moment.
Tweeted at 5:54 PM, December 20 (Sunday)
Being told by male bosses that I lack femininity or whatever, even if it's meant as a joke to get laughs, is my limit of patience. It's unfair that men don't get told they lack masculinity when they go bald. So depressing.
On the morning of Christmas Day, 2015, Matsuri Takahashi threw herself from her company dormitory and died at the age of 24. She had been working for 9 months, doing an estimated 130 monthly hours of overtime.
According to her mother, Matsuri was well aware that excessive work could lead to death, but she still couldn't quit her job.
(I started this post with the intention of making a point about something, but rereading this story broke my heart all over again and it's difficult to pick up from here. I think it's enough for today.) ●
Note: Matsuri Takahashi's Twitter account in Japanese can be found here.
Cover image:
Photo by Ian Keefe, Unsplash